My Mothers

I had such a happy Mother's Day today. I think every Mother's Day will be incredibly special for me (see below on becoming a mother). We had the standard singing by the Primary kids today, we had a special breakfast before church, and I got to to to Relief Society where we had ice cream sundaes!

But once I was home from church and making dinner, my thoughts turned to my mothers. My own mother is incredibly smart, beautiful, talented, and funny. My mother in law raised the best husband in the world and loves her in-laws like her own.

But, perhaps inspired by our discussion of the pioneers in Relief Society today, my thoughts turned to my great and great-great grandmothers Lydia Knight and Johanna Oscarson. I was making some banana bread with our brown bananas when the thought occurred to me that these women went through times when there was no extra food to be used up in some creative and indulgent way. Do we really NEED banana bread? It's just a way to justify buying 10 bananas at once at Costco. I thought about how they took care of their families without husbands around - without electricity and mixers and ovens and church DVD's to keep their kids busy while they made Sunday dinner. I thought about what they would have eaten for Sunday dinner during those hard times.

As I dumped butter into the mixing bowl, I thought about Lydia Knight's story of the tithing and the butter. She had just arrived in the Salt Lake valley and had only one cow with one little patch of grass for it to eat. They churned butter and decided to give it all to their bishop as tithing with the faith that their little cow would produce more milk and give them more butter to last through the winter.

I am grateful for the women in my family who I don't know but who I cannot wait to meet and thank one day. Their sacrifices have blessed me with the light of the Spirit, the peace of the gospel, and the faith to face the unknown.

So, happy Mother's Day to all of you who are in the trenches with me right now, and to those of you who have paved the way to give me all of the blessings I enjoy. I hope I can continue in your tradition of sacrifice and bring honor to you and blessings to my posterity.

Bugs

I just weeded the backyard and found the ant nest! I put 2 ant "traps" out there and hope they all die a quick death and leave my house alone.

Michael just smushed a ladybug across the patio and then said, "Oh, the ladybug is sad." Sam added, "cause you crushed it."

Thank You, Dr. Leo Marvin

Two weeks ago - after one week of potty training - I decided that I no longer wanted to spend my days as an edgy, stressed out person with no sense of humor who I wouldn't want to hang out with. I decided I wanted to stop and enjoy my life. No one in my family is deathly ill; I am making friends here; I have plenty of room for my kids to run around; I have red curtains I made hanging in my kitchen; I have a backyard; I have two adorable sons; I have a devoted, funny, kind husband. Why not stop stressing out and enjoy my life a little more?

That's when I decided to follow Dr. Leo Marvin's advice from What About Bob and "take a vacation - from my problems!" Some people would call this selfish or lazy. I call it delightful.

Here's how I did it. I stopped worrying about the following:
1. How my clothes fit
2. Where the potty training accidents occur
3. Whether I made it out of the house every day
4. If there's dust on the furniture and shirts in the ironing pile
5. If the toys are all put away at night
6. Having the boys watch t.v. so I can get something done
7. Trying to entertain my primary class with boredom-defying lessons
8. Whether I gave equal attention to each of my boys
9. Whether the boys liked and ate their dinner
10. If my boys got enough exercise that week

Instead, I started thinking about and doing the following:
1. How my Father in Heaven sees me
2. Michael is amazing for potty training at 28 months
3. I love living in a house instead of an apartment
4. Getting more sleep makes me happy and calm
5. I like taking time to enjoy reading a book and doing my hair and make up
6. Getting something done without breaking up fights every 2 minutes
7. Teaching my primary class to appreciate what the early members of the Church did
8. Giving more attention to my husband
9. Making meals that Josh and I enjoy eating
10. If I got enough exercise that week

The result? I was thoroughly relaxed and calm. I really felt like I was on a vacation. My bedroom turned into a sanctuary from baby land. I sat in my backyard and read a book in the sunshine. My boys liked some of the new food I made and didn't starve to death. I had more energy. The ADD kids in my primary class weren't there today for my non-entertaining lesson. I discovered that non-iron shirts really don't need to be ironed and the layer of dust on the furniture didn't cause any allergic reactions.

Alas, after two weeks of this hiatus, my house is so messy I can't stand it so I am going to scrub it all tomorrow! Then I'll catch up on the shopping and prepare an interesting primary lesson.

The prognosis: I will keep ebbing and flowing and trying to find a balance between vacation and responsibility, while remembering that taking a break from stress makes everyone happy. So, old Bob and I agree, Dr. Leo Marvin is a genius.

Now if I could only hire a cleaning lady I'd be set for life!

Risky Business

Anyone see a resemblance? Right down to the socks and the singing. I took this picture of Michael after church on Sunday when he wouldn't change into a different shirt and I had to take off his pants because we've been POTTY TRAINING!Two weeks ago yesterday Michael found the "Thomas the Tank Engine" underwear I bought at Target a little while back, to be prepared. I asked him if he wanted to wear it. He said "yes." And so it began. I had noticed I didn't have anything to do that week so I thought we'd stay at home and give it a try. He had been sitting on his potty chair for a few months with his clothes on and "went" a couple of times over General Conference weekend when he learned he could earn a Skittle or an M&M for this accomplishment. I set the timer for 15 minutes and tried to get this guy who hates drinking to drink a lot so he could have some success. He had fun at first, was thrilled about the candy, and then started throwing fits whenever I took him into the bathroom. He would rather watch t.v.. The next day I took him about every 30 minutes to an hour and he did much better. He likes to dump it into the big potty and rinse out the bowl (while I tense up hoping he won't spill it), flush the toilet, and put the bowl back on his potty. Then we go straight into the kitchen for his candy.
He can hold it I know, but he doesn't know when it's coming. I still take him every hour or so and don't know how to teach him to just go in when he feels it coming. Maybe that will come later. For now, I take him into the bathroom (kicking and screaming) and then he forgets all about whatever activity I just ripped him away from and gets all excited about his candy.
One issue, though, is poop. I never know when it's coming and he likes to do it in his underwear. I, however, hate cleaning it up. Chocolate cake batter (above) is fun to clean off. Then your kids smell like chocolate all day when you kiss them! Poop, however, is a different story.
Today after lunch it was actually Sam's that caused the problem. (See above photo illustration). The boys watched Handy Manny or some tool cartoon this morning and decided to "fix" the lamp. Sam is interested in touching the contents of his diapers lately and evidently went to work on the lamp after checking his diaper. I heard Michael screaming, running away from Sam and saying "No!" and went in to check on the situation. Here's what I found:

Sam's face and hands covered in poop.
Michael's face and hair streaked with poop.
Poop on the lampshade.
Poop on the armoire.

I changed Sam's diaper and washed him off. Then I noticed Michael had pooped in his underwear. So I cleaned off his bum, washed out his underwear, then washed his face and hair in the bathroom sink. He'll only has a couple of bruises on his forehead from the faucet as he wouldn't hold still. I think I got it all cleaned up but I still smell something bitter following me around so I can only assume it got in my hair too.
The good thing is I can never get enough of this delightfully ticklish na*ked boy. After story time this morning I decided to walk around the corner and stop in See's Candy for a treat. We've been in California for four months and I haven't had a single white chocolate-covered divinity puff. Although I think this whole affair could have been caused by babies on chocolate, the little buzz helped us all handle it with humor, except for the moment I spanked Sam for smearing his poop on his brother. But, after that, we were all laughing and I still hear them awake upstairs. Michael is singing "Now Let Us Rejoice" with one change; he sings "and some will molest them from morn' until ev'n." instead of "none." It cracks me up. Again, probably because of the chocolate.

Moral of the story: Parents who do chocolate have kids who do chocolate and although potty training stinks, (pun intended), with enough sleep and a little chocolate, you can come away from a day like mine and just say, "na*ked toddlers are cute."

Guess potty training is a "Risky Business."

Choo choo!

On Tueseay I took the boys, with Michael in underwear, to the Sacramento Train Museum. It was our first outing in a long time and I felt so happy to get them out of the house and further away from home than the grocery store! Michael did a great job and "went" on the potty at the museum.
This train was enormous. It was some big oil burning engine. They were scared of it.


Looking at another shiny engine. We were able to get on a couple of the trains and walk through them. The boys were very obedient and held my hands. It was so cute! They loved going on the trains and talked about the rest of the day. Sam kept being afraid the trains would blow their whistles. He hates loud noises! I assured him these trains held still and didn't make any sounds. He was okay with that but still doesn't want to go for a ride on a real one!

I have to admit it was a little scary, even for me. The trains were enormous and you usually don't get that close to them. They had mannequins posed as engineers and even hobos in some of the cars and they always startled me. Sam kept asking, "Who's that?" whenever we saw one.

The real find was the huge "Thomas" train table upstairs. We spent a dutiful 30 minutes there before the late-lunch breakdown occurred. Then I was suckered into buying two Thomas engines at the gift shop. They are so expensive. I swear these will be the first and the last but who could resist this face?
The verdict? Sam says his new red engine "James is my favorite train ever."

It's a Miracle . . . or Two

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord. -Psalms 113:9
Three years ago today we found out I was pregnant. I was at work when I got the phone call. I called Josh and told him, "They called. They had good news." He said, "What!?" We worked near each other at the US Capitol Building. We agreed to walk toward each other and met in the Capitol Rotunda where we sat on a bench, surrounded by unsuspecting tourists, and were in joyful shock together.
What is eight years times twelve months? Ninety-six months of bitter disappointment? I have the children I feared I would never have. I don't want to upset my friends who are still struggling with infertility, I do not give up my faith that your arms will also be filled. I just have to declare my gratitude for a modern day miracle, make that two.
I still marvel at these little people who have come to join us. They are my sons. I am their mother. They need me to teach them all about life; not just eating and potty training, but how to be a good friend, and how to gain a testimony of the gospel. Their tiny hands will grow and toughen but I will always rejoice in every touch, in their mere existence. Their birth was a miracle. Even with all modern science has to offer in help, our case was still miraculous. The doctors didn't think we had a good chance of a pregnancy and still think we were very "lucky." I know differently. I know it was the power of the faith and prayers of many on our behalf. It was God's will and it was in His hands.
There was a time I lost my faith in having children. Many of you may have despaired over different circumstances in your lives. It is a dark place. It is a selfish void that casts a shadow over your life and sucks out the purpose and meaning. I needed this experience to come to know what faith is. I needed to need God in a way I hadn't ever before. I had lived my life without coming to know him until I was forced to give up my dreams and choose a bitter road, or to humble myself and trust him.Since the boys were born there have been some difficult days. Days when hormones or sleep deprivation or isolation have skewed my perception of reality. Even on the worst of days, with the most crying, messy diapers, and loneliness, if I just picked up one of my boys, the negative feelings washed away in the joy of just holding a dream I feared would never come true.Three years ago today my life changed forever. I just wanted thank my Heavenly Father and celebrate it with you.
*Note: My boys haven't been in a picture together since they started walking, hence the pictures from their 1st year!

Happy Easter

Not Easter, but I just love it. He insists on wearing this new hat all the time.

This Easter was so much fun. I was disappointed we couldn't be with any family as my memories go back to childhood Easters with all of my cousins around, but it gave us a chance to start some traditions on our own with the boys.

I don't remember what we did for last Easter. Maybe my parents came to see us? I should really remember these things. The boys were still babies, though, so we didn't do anything special for them.This year, we had fun.Our neighborhood had an egg hunt Saturday morning for the 1-3 year old's. At first the boys didn't know what to do and wanted to open each egg when they picked it up. We got them to grab a few more before they were all taken. Imagine their surprise to find candy and toys inside the eggs! They were in heaven. Then they got to smear frosting on some sugar cookies and eat them outside at the park. That's what Michael was talking about when he fell asleep that night. It was very memorable for him!

We dyed eggs. It was fun and messy. We have yellow streaks on our carpet under the table now, but hey, we're renting so oh well.
I just noticed the snowman mugs with the Easter eggs in them. A little of Christmas cheer never hurts, I guess!


I felt very un-Oscarson setting out baskets without big bows on them, but they're for 2 year old boys. They went for the chocolate bunnies first, but the Play Doh and the soft baseballs have been the enduring (for 4 days) favorites. Yesterday Sam asked me for some more candy. I told him we only had it on Easter and he said, "Oh, man! I want Easter to come again!" Here's our delicous Easter dinner. We were thinking of having another family join us so I bought a huge ham, had boiled new potatoes with peas in cream sauce, Aunt Bonnie's rolls, Debbie's "Incredible Salad" with sugared pecans and pears in it, and some coconut cake with strawberries. This was after a breakfast of bacon, o.j., boiled eggs, and hot crossed buns - the boys had toast at breakfast and rolls and a little ham for dinner.

While we missed our family, we are so grateful for our own boys and the blessing of enjoying Easter with them and teaching them about it. They know it's when "Jesus got hurt, but now he's all better!" That's a start.

In church, Michael sang - belted - "He Is Risen" and "Christ the Lord is Risen Today." He held out the final notes a little too long with his arms outstretched like a choir director and had a solo for a few seconds. Everyone laughed. He loves singing and was so excited to sing some songs he knew. I don't have the heart to tell him to be quiet.

We hope everybody had a great Eater!